On Sunday, I ran 4 miles in 44 minutes and 20 seconds.
This is a big deal to me for a few reasons.
First, I’ve never ran that far without stopping to walk. I believe that’s called a PDR (personal distance record). And at one point, even Ryan Hall had to get to 4 miles.
Secondly, it’s a big deal that I’m telling you all my time and even bigger that I’m PROUD of my time. Running 11-plus minutes per mile is, by the accounts of most people who run, pretty darn slow. In fact, by definition I was probably jogging.
But it felt really good. I felt strong and I wasn’t dying. In fact, I probably could have run farther except I “sprinted” at the end (thought I could get to 44 minutes even) so that tired me out. But my body wasn’t sore, I was properly fueled and hydrated, the weather nice, and I told myself going into it that it was going to be a great run and I would rock it. So it was and I did.
All my life, I’ve had issues with low self-esteem. Being overweight didn’t help things, but losing the weight didn’t make all those issues go away either. I have always struggled with feeling “not good enough” at anything I did or anything I was. You name it—as a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister, and employee, a friend, and lately as person who runs (since I just yet can’t call myself a runner) and a blogger—I always look around me and see other people who are “better” than me at all of those things, and then in turn I feel bad about myself. (See above, where I compared my running to Ryan Hall’s? Yeah…) And I must stress that I have never been told by others that I was a bad friend or a bad employee. Far from it. But I tell it to myself enough to make it seem real.
But on Sunday, I didn’t feel that way. And I knew then that would be what running gives me. It’s going to teach me to quiet those thoughts inside my head that tell me I’m not good enough. When I run, I’m going to be passed by people who are twice my age and twice my weight—sometimes, people who are both—and that’s going to be OK. It’s going to force me to go at my own speed because if I try to do otherwise, my body won’t let me. I know I will get faster, and I will run farther, but it’s going to happen slowly and only if I don’t try to expect too much too soon. It’s already getting way easier (and bootcamp is helping me gain endurance and build muscle, which I’m sure is helping too).
Instead of looking ahead of me, to all the people who are faster and can run farther (which in blog land, there are a lot of them out there), I’m looking at how far I have come in this journey. I am the girl who cheated in middle school when running the mile (by stopping after 3 laps because almost everyone else was already done with 4 so the teachers didn’t know I wasn’t done). I am the girl who, when she decided to start exercising to lose weight, couldn’t walk briskly on the treadmill for more than ten minutes. I am the girl who said, many times, “I can’t run.” That girl ran for four miles without stopping to walk last weekend. And she’ll run more than that, when the time is right.
I’m actually wavering on the 1/2 marathon I talked about signing up for in January, because as a wise blogger once said, “don’t set yourself up to fail” and attempting to train for a 1/2 when I’m still new to this, during the holiday season, might be too much. But regardless, I decided I’m going to run the Disneyland 1/2 in September. I know I can do it, especially if I take the whole summer to train and prepare. And how FUN would it be to run through Disneyland, with Mickey and friends cheering me on? Love that.
My point of this, other than to brag about the fact that I ran four freaking miles, is that as cliché as this is to say, if I can run, you can run—if you want to, of course. Or you can do yoga or swim or anything else you want to do. Just don’t compare yourself to anyone else, and I’ll try not to do that either, ok?
And if I can run, something I thought I could NEVER do…then I can probably do just about anything.
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This post hits home for me. I’m not much of a runner at all either. I get excited running anything less than a 12 minute mile. And anything more than a couple miles is tough. I know people say it is a mental game, but with my Plantar Fascitiis, it’s a physical game too.
Way to go, love! I’m REALLY proud of you!
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I’m so proud of you Hallie. This really is a big deal, and I’m glad you see it as such. In fact, I’m inspired. I walked the Disney World half marathon a couple of years ago and was planning on walking it again in January ’11 as a goal to get the baby weight off and get back in shape. Plus, it was just awesome going through the parks and all the characters cheering you on along the way. I walked a 15 minute mile for that race.
So here is my inspiration for me and my challenge for you: Plan on doing that race with me. I’ll walk a 13-minute mile, maybe even some interval jogging (don’t want to set myself up for failure as you said), if you run a 10-minute or less mile. What do you think???
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You should be really proud of yourself! I mean that. You should be running for YOU. I have the same issues (as you mentioned to me, actually), and every once in a while, I have to remember to not compare myself to anyone else. It doesn’t matter how fast anyone else goes; YOU did it! You went out there, ran your best, and it felt great. And that’s all that matters. Good for you!
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run, hallie, run! i think it’s amazing. as someone who used to struggle with the mile run in gym class, i applaud anyone (myself included) who runs. yay!
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your post left me with a big smile. i am so happy that you shared your running reflections and i am stoked that you set a new PDR! hooray!! that is awesome. thanks for sharing your feelings on being proud and also for being so encouraging!
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Congrats! My boyfriend just ran the Disneyland Half this year, and said it was a lot of fun. You get to run through Angel Stadium with a huge crowd to cheer you on when you’ll probably need it most.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being so honest on this post!! I have been that girl who couldn’t run and who felt inferior to the other girls who were running in my class. I used to HATE running and really not be good at it. Now, like you, I can run for miles and feel pretty good about it.
I’m glad you have found a way to get passed your insecurities, or at least to start focusing on something else. This was a good post and I hope you do stay positive and continue to remind yourself that YOU can do it and YOU are special! I say, sign up for the half marathon, if you don’t finish running, and you have to walk, you won’t be the only one, it happens all the time!
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i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO proud of you!!! 4.0 miles is nothing to sneeze at!! it is long and running for 44 minutes is challenging for anyone!
running disney sounds awesome. i do always think its a good idea to set achievable goals. running a 1/2 is definitely achievable, but you’re right — the holidays make it difficult to train. and you wanna feel top of your game for your first half! and YOU WILL!!
dang you rule!!!!
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Hi! I found your blog through another. That is so awesome that you ran 4 miles! I run too and am currently training for my first 1/2 and I started out walking 90 seconds and running 30 seconds. It’s amazing how far our bodies can go if we push them and work hard isn’t it? I think you are doing great and that would be soooo fun to run through disneyland. that makes my 1/2 seem a little depressing! Keep up the good work! and thanks for the encouraging post!
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I felt the same way Sunday. I ran 4 miles without stopping for the 1st time and I hesitated to blog about it bc I was comparing myself to other’s running distances. Then I had to just say “no!” Im celebrating every milestone no matter how small.
Great work running! Keep it up. I love your blog! Have a good day.
http://www.busylittlelexi.wordpress.com
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Found your blog through Brandi! I may have stopped by before but i love this post! it’s so great!!!
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I love everything about this post! I think we so often get caught up in the speed and miles happening in blog land, we forget to stop and acknowledge our own personal accomplishments. 4 miles is HUGE girl!! I am SO proud of you!! This post reminded me a lot of my best running achievement to date. It wasn’t 8 miles, 4 miles, or even a 5k race. It was running 20 minutes on the treadmill straight with no stopping. To this day, that’s still my proudest fitness moment, probably always will be
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Running 4 miles is awesome, period!
I sometimes find it hard to when I see everyone else talking about their slow pace when it is 9 or 10 minutes per mile. I have to remember that I am running more than I ever imagined.
Same for you and your running. It is true that you can do way more than you ever though you could, so keep on going!
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Loved your post on health blog helper! I am one of those people that only know twitter exists because of oprah and ashton!
I was wondering if you had a chance to take a look at Project Feed Me? I would love your participation and your tweeting abilites to help get the word out! Please take a look and let me know what you think! Thanks a million!
natalie
http://www.nono2yoyo.com/project-feed-mepost
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Just found your blog from Health Blog Helper! I can relate so much to this post – I’m just a new runner, but I get so proud of myself for running a new distance, even if it’s at a ‘slow’ pace.
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Way to go on the run! You’re right, everyone has to work up to 4 miles… I like your blog.
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